And I think I felt a little left out

I offered to go to Salem. I told him that I was going and he couldn't stop me. He said no. I didn't go. His sister's husband went. Why didn't he want me there? That's what a partner is supposed to do, right? Support you. But he doesn't seem to want to let me in that way. Or maybe he's just trying to save me the expense and inconvenience. I know that's what he thinks he's trying to do. But in some way, I also feel left out. Left out of that inner part of his life. The part where he's not strong, the part where he's worried and feels scared. And I can understand why he wouldn't want me to see him feel scared, shaken up by his dad's heart surgery and complications. But I want him to let me be there for him, the way I let him be there for me when he came to my mom's house. I never wanted to let him in there. But I knew that, if we're going to get married, then it's better that he know all the parts of me. Even the ones that are hardest for me. And I want it to go both ways. And I can't really talk to him about this b/c this isn't about me. It's about his dad. I never know how to keep these things to myself without them coming out in some other inappropriate, destructive way though. What to do?